Jack Handley

Danksy Die Pienk Zuit het ek vandag kennis gemaak met ene Jack Handley. Nog altyd was ek versot op Saturday Night Live, maar eers vandag het ek uitgevind dat die bogenoemde meester vir meeste van my lagbuie verantwoordelik was. Hier is 'n paar van sy 'diep gedagtes', soos hyself daarna verwys:

"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."

"A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke."

"I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver, and since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up real quick and hand it to him."

"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then at the very end, there's a page you can lick, and it tastes like Kool-Aid."

"If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact."

"If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's OK to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny."

"Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet."

En toe maak ek amper my broek nat:

"In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you."

Lees nog Deep Thoughts hier en hier.